Talking About A Male Rape Experience During Intimate Moments

It's very strange to start talking about the topic of rape when you are engaged with someone in very intimate acts. Recently, in a meet up with a Puerto Rican friend with whom I go to bed with after we've discovered a lot of similarities in our tastes for food and having fun, and with whom I agree to being 'friends with benefits, he was asking me if I was ready to come. We were doing it for some time then, and I could see that he's got other things in mind to do before finally ending his evening. He would still be having to get up early the next morning. And he wanted to finish making the cake that one of his clients ordered. He knew that he had to do something more so I could come, if I really wanted to come, which is not normal in my case (coming is not the end-goal of this activity for me). 

I then asked him about his first fuck, as in "Who fucked you the first time?" Then his reply was totally unexpected.

"I was raped."

"By whom?," I took the chance to inquire, as if such details have to be known right away after getting myself shocked.

"Oh, there were 4 of them," he casually blurted out the number.

"When?," I asked as I grew more curious.

"I was 11 years old then. I didn't even know I would turn out to be gay," he added more details for my surprised ears to hear and analyze. And as far as I could recall now, he went on to provide me with some more details about these men who raped him. I would learn that he had to bring himself to the hospital after the scene was over. The event happened somewhere in Puerto Rico.

"Are they still alive? Do you still see them?"

"No. They're all dead now," he answered in a matter-of-fact style. I could imagine he's relieved about the fact but I could be mistaken. Who would ever forgot such horrible moments in one's life? Already distracted, I gave him a long loving look as I continued to work on myself so that both of us could be finished with our act. But I knew I got deeply distracted, and I had to keep a mental note that I should be writing about this information from my friend.

Now, I would recall similar stories from other men with whom I've been to bed with. I recall someone back in the Philippines, with whom I had sex with in a dingy movie theater, and who mentioned about how he was raped by an older guy when they found themselves alone in a beach during a family outing (I suppose he personally knew his assailant). I recall, too, what another dear friend who now passed on, told me how he was raped after being seduced by a much older, bigger man when he was still a young boy.

Are rape scenes ever sexy? 

Yes, male rapes have been going on as far as we would bother to recall. These are horrifying acts of violence, which should be stopped right away. I just wonder why we're not talking more openly about these rapes, too. I guess, it's the desire to be respectable among many of us, which we think would help us to lead better lives collectively. And we're missing now the opportunity to correct these terrible misdeeds. Remember, those who have experienced unresolved ill emotions due to acts of violence inflicted on them will continue to inflict such acts as well to their children and those whom they think are inferior to them. That's how they have learned early on. And such lessons are very difficult to overcome.