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Check the drafts of a memoir (available in leading online stores) in long blog posting-format that account on how I coped with youthful urges with having no positive role models and growing up under restrictive social conditions, in Manila, Philippines, circa 1980s way much until after I moved to NYC. Drafts of my other book projects are here, too. God be praised!

Making An Impression To Someone During and After A Sexual Encounter

I was on my way to work when I happened to chance upon one fellow in medium height and who was wearing a light orange cotton shirt, white shorts, dark rubber shoes with laces in one of those subway stops in the Upper East Side (UES) in Manhattan very early in the morning. He's bald by choice of haircut and wears a thin mustache and I felt the attraction his presence was creating on that platform. For a few moments we were alone on the wooden bench that could seat at least 5 people while some other passengers would come and go by us, and which situation got both of us in the cruising dance that we were doing by choice. We recognized our attraction to each other. 

I was not sure if the other passengers were aware of what we were doing. I could remember the smell that emanates from that train station where the green lines pass by all the time. A white woman would come and seat in between us, such that he and I could not continue to make moves on our dance. He stood and walked towards the front end of the train, and presently I would follow him.

After briefly chatting the usual lines, I asked if I can hold the bulge in my hands. He willingly agreed and I was surprised about the size. I could not feel any hesitation on my part right there and then; I wanted to make it with him if we could continue with our dance that was abruptly put to a stop.

I was surprised he was giving me signals and telling me that I should be careful with what I was saying before him. Before that, we kissed briefly, and hugged as well. He's telling me that he knows that his own people, especially the women, would be listening even from a distance and could figure out what was happening between us. I actually knew that but I didn't want to be bothered by such concerns anymore, mainly because I'm beyond such concerns. Life's too brief to bother myself about what others think of me; it's their business, anyway. I've been out as long as I can remember, which has provided me the temerity to do what I want as long as I'm not unknowingly hurting or at worst, killing anyone. But to give respect to his request, I mostly kept my mouth shut as we boarded our crowded train. I knew people were looking at us, as I'm very much Asian-looking or Hispanic looking as others would tell me, and he's a well built black guy. 

As we stood next to each other inside the train, he would soon ask me to join him in his place somewhere in Crown Heights in Brooklyn. I quickly decided that I like to be with him and spend time so we could get to know each other better. He was surprised that I had been somewhere near where he grew up in Louisiana, and that I got the impression that he does not desire to create an impression that he's out as a gay person to others. I asked if he's single and that if he lives alone. He replied 'yes' to the first and I don't think I heard him reply to the second one.

We had to take the cab from the train stop so that we could reach his place faster. He's aware that I had to be rushing back to work as soon as we're over. We were soon naked together on his queen size bed that had dark brown bedsheets on that time. He put a white towel on it, which I noticed as I proceeded to do my work on his very well built and well toned body. Needless to say, we were both satisfied and done with our work in a few moments. Those moments included myself taking a shower, and himself taking a shower as well soon after I was done. He's surprised to realize that his neighbors were probably hearing what we were talking about, and that they could have seen both of us naked in the bathroom. The bathroom's window was half opened and I could see the neighbor's windows half opened, too. They could overhear us, definitely, if they would care to really lend us their ears during those early moments on that Sunday morning.

I have realized I created strong impressions on him. It's Gay Pride Day and I greeted him for the occasion. I heard from him, too, about a good friend of his who was visiting him and who flew back to his place by the time both my newly found friend and I came to that spacious 1 bedroom apartment. It's nicely furnished, kept orderly and relatively clean. I told him I'm out, and I knew he's taken somewhat aback by my attitude. But his attraction by me persisted in him, such that we ended up being in bed for the first time on that day. 

"You have to be extra careful with what you're saying especially when talking with black men, or those you may call 'colored men.' Women are particularly very sensitive when they overhear what we are talking about. And they're very harsh in judging colored men on the down low," he told me and I'm narrating here as far as I could make a recollection now. 

I have to add that we both created great impressions on one another's presence. I'm grateful to have met and known him. I don't really know if he would still like to meet up with me again. That remains to be seen. I know my strong impression on him bothered him as he realized quickly soon that I'm really out to celebrate myself as a person. I have not much qualms about showing out who I am as a person to others. And I keep in mind all the the time that others have the same right, which they always have to claim and act out to make sense about celebrating who we are as unique individuals. 

We can't continue putting each other down, just because  we behave not according to some people's unexpressed and ever evolving norms and merely being set-up to keep away from offending other people's sensibilities. The world continues to move on. I pray my new friend realizes that he has more to gain by being able to accept who he is really as a person. And I do hope he ceases to continue being internally homophobic with himself, with all its accompanying implications. I realized I've made a sustained strong impression on him, such that he would immediately give me instructions on how to behave when we are in public (which maybe useful if ever we meet again). Out of respect for his feelings, I'll take them to heart the next time I deal with him, as well as those other men who behave similar to him. As for myself, I know I'm happier in my own state in life, given all these troubles when I meet strangers with whom I have sex with in due time. I can only wish the same for my newly met friend and others similar to him, who would rather put into hiding those truthful but really beautiful aspects about themselves, than just lay down their hair whenever they are in public. 

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My "GoodReads" reviews

The Garden of Two Dragons Fucking The Garden of Two Dragons Fucking by Jerusalino V. Araos

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
remarkably illustrated, concise, and irreverent (not a porno book, whatsoever)!!! an old friend lent me a copy years ago, and have found it very fascinating. of course, part of the excitement of reading this book is it's "curious" title. it's actually a children's book, (would you believe?), by araos, a respected artist in the philippines. the title may be offensive to most adults who have concerns about "fucking," but i'd believe parents would become more authentic as "persons" (who get hurt, need to be loved, need to love as well, etc.) to their children, if they get to have them read this book. you may not need to explain the title, as there's really no need for it. its being "irreverent" is mainly because of the use of the word 'fucking' & nothing else. it's all about discovering your being you as a person, pursuing your dreams, and not that one person others may have in mind when they see you. i could not get hard copies of this book myself, so i kept a xeroxed copy of it in my library back in the philippines.

View all my reviews.