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Check the drafts of a memoir (available in leading online stores) in long blog posting-format that account on how I coped with youthful urges with having no positive role models and growing up under restrictive social conditions, in Manila, Philippines, circa 1980s way much until after I moved to NYC. Drafts of my other book projects are here, too. God be praised!

Extras: Some Engaging Evenings

The book is now available, in hardcover,  paperback, ebook formats from my online storeAmazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Xlibris.com, Powell's Books, and other online stores. 

In this representative world of disbelief about men who actually get physically sexual with other men, the Police likewise lurk just as the primary actors. I have had my share with them, both pleasant and otherwise. I have been figuring why men in uniform possess that strong attraction to certain people. It’s in the image they project at they go about carrying themselves in that attitude in dealing with you. I grew up having good images of men in uniform, mainly because I have relatives who are Policemen, or Military Men. Apparently, they have the same lives like the rest of us in the normal population. The things you hear and see about them can get to be bothersome, but you get to realize they have certain needs to meet. As they project, they send certain signals that others get to really understand well. This leads to images in one’s mind that surges the desire to do something very physical with the object who happens to be someone who is in uniform.

From IntramurosFortSantiago
A view of the Intramuros Walls during the American Period
In fact, I met quite a number of good friends via these experiences in my dealings with those in the Police. These past years, they have actually made great showdowns in the Walls. Events which have rarely been reported in the papers. Before, they even have made use of high school students as Junior Police in their efforts to catch those who are cruising in the Walls. Thank God, I have been in good fortune not to undergo the humiliating experience of dealing with them when you are caught there out of their fanciful notions of your kind or perhaps due to vagrancy, or whatever.



Once, I saw one young man, running away from the Police who were fast running after him. He was caught. “Tang ina mo! Tsumutsupa ka dito! Pinahirapan mo pa kami.!” As they pounced at him.



“May nahuli nga dati dito na sa gobyerno raw yata nagtatabraho. Eh, may dala syang malaking envelop na puno ng pera. Tumatakbo sya para makatakas pero na julieann din sya. Siguro kinuha na rin yung pera nya......, eh, mukhang marami pa naman syang dala,” pausing as he sipped on his cup of coffee. “Nagmakaawa sya na pakawalan na sya, may pamilya daw sya, may tatlong anak, nakakahiya daw pag nalaman nila. Nilait pa sya ng pulis, ba’t daw sya nanditio kung may asawa na sya. O diba? Wala akong masabi sa nangyari sa kanya!” as I overheard someone describing one who was caught one cruising evening at the Walls.



In my early cruises in the Walls, I recall having encountered the Police as they were in search for something outlaw in the area. Nowadays, I think, the Police just opted to proceed with a thorough search in the area, as they must have been hearing complaints from some individuals, who must have thought of seeing criminal types in the Walls, almost every now and then. Or maybe, I was just being naive then, yet when I saw them coming towards my directions, I knew I had to do something to convince them that I was not among the types that they are in search for something that they thought to be outlaw. In a flash, I instantly showed them my ID, and explained facetiously that “I work with the media,” as I showed them samples of magazines that happened to carry with me inside my big bag, in order to prove them that I was just doing mere research work. Miraculously, the Police took my reason to be credible enough. I was nevertheless, very thankful. The Police even admonished me to be very careful whenever I am in the area, as it’s known to be lurking with criminal personalities. Looking back, I figured out that the Police that I wasn’t really truthful enough. They just thought I was honest enough to present myself complete with an ID, thus positively categorizing me away from their typical “criminal tag” for personalities found cruising in the Walls.



Momentarily, I knew I had to proceed. I walked along a cemented pathway towards the National Museum, where I saw the usual congregation of men who typically group together in a makeshift foodstall, the carinderia where drivers, and conductors of jeepneys, taxis, and buses have their sumptuous on-the-road meals. While sipping my coffee to keep me from sleeping, I noticed one interesting man who was with his much younger and interesting lover as well (hopefully, and apparently for the night).



“Wala pang pulis ngayon?” I forwarded the question to the couple, in the hope that I could at least catch the attention of either one of them.


“Wala siguro, nandito na sila kagabi. Ano ngayon, payday?”


“Di ‘no,” as both of them looked heartily towards each other, showing me my poor chances.


“Nung isang linggo, may natagpuang bangkay ng mama dyan sa may mga puno, sa may imburnal. Mukhang nahulog yata, ni wala syang ID,” as the foodstall owner (or manager) blurted out.


“Ingat kayo ngayon dito. Nag pagtrol na naman sila, maraming nahuli. Siguro yung isang iyon, sa kamamadaling makatakas, hindi nakita yung butas nung imburnal, sumuot tuloy sya. Siguro bumagok yung ulo, dead agad sya.....” as he narrated matter-of-factly.



* * * * * * * *



I had the chance to be caught finally while cruising actively one very ordinary evening at the pathway between the two flyovers going to Divisoria to Sta Cruz. The place, just over the Bonifacio Monument in front of the Post Office, was absent with the usual number of cruising people. Still, I convinced myself there must be somebody around to provide what I wanted right there and then. Hungry then for something very exciting, I was studying my pace, and the setting, when someone of small built approached me.



“Anong ginagawa mo dito? Alam mo bang bawal na dito ang ginagawa mo! Halika!!!,” as he demanded that I approach him. “H’wag kang tatakbo!!” as he aggressively demanded me.
I surrendered myself as I saw a gun pointed at me.


“Pulis ako. Patingin ng ID mo!!,” as he poked the gun at me to prove his seriousness in his assigned task, at least for the duration.
Upon showing him several of my Ids, he decided I was the otherwise of what he thought of me earlier (I surmised).


“Bawal na dito ang tulad mo! Umuwi ka na! Makita ulit kita dito, babarilin kita!” I recall him warning me, after he asked money for a cup of coffee, which I immediately gave him just as to get out fast of the sickening end scene of my anticlimatic encounter with the Police.

“Sabi nung isang nakilala ko dito, hinuli daw sya ng pulis. O di syempre pa, naglalakad lang sya dyan,” as he pointed to an area made up of fully grown up trees opposite and near the National Museum and the Finance Building. “Isinakay sya sa patrol. May kasama yung humuli sa kanya sa patrol. Siguro tatlo pa sila doon sa loob ng patrol. Hay naku, yung tatlo, isa isang nagpatsupa sa kanya, at yung isa, inuring pa sya. Sabi naman nya, type daw nya yung pang apat na titingin tingin lang habang nagbabati sya. Ang tahi tahimik nya, animal kung makatingin. Ano, saan sya dinala? Dun daw sa may bandang San Marcelino. Tapos syang ganunin, pinakawalan sya at winarningang umuwi na kundi......”, described by someone I met. I thought this guy was perfect for that night. Those figures I have in mind of those “raucously silent” policemen, as they took turns in taking advantage of that nameless guy, remain clearly etched as I look forward to something similar, yet painlessly noncommittal, if ever something like it happens to me.



* * * * * * * *
Likewise, I have grown aware of the observation that the Police are largely secretly scared of Medical Doctors, primarily the practitioner type you usually meet in hospital emergency wards. The Police don’t really relish being brought to the hospitals to be treated by them. A doctor friend, who himself cruises in the Walls, pointed out this observation to me. Apparently, the Police dislike, though not typically shown as they’re supposed to be outwardly brave, those emergency situations where the wounded, injured, or hurt from their brethren are brought for immediate surgical attention by medical doctors. Those doctors, or even nurses, medical technicians, and others whom I have known cruising the Walls, the theatres, or elsewhere in the Metropolis, confirm this observation. These doctors gladly take their revenge upon remembering how the Police failed to give them favor or just mere understanding in some earlier incidents where these doctors have been caught in flagrante derelicto, so to say, doing their own thing. The Police are sure to receive “mishandling” causing undue pain from these medical practitioners.



I stood waiting at the Western Police District Office in UN Avenue where my friend was “billeted.” He, together with some other brave men, were unfortunate to be caught by a fleeting Fierra jeepney (was it red, or yellow? I couldn’t recall) with the Police during one of their sweeping drive against whatever was deemed illegal that night. My friend tried to flee away by crossing over the island in front of Mehan, where I saw him feigning an act like he was waiting for a jeepney ride leading to Sta Cruz at that unholy hour. He could have stood beside me on the spot where I correctly sensed I was safe (all lights were on at the waiting shed where I acted as if I was buying Halls, they just ignored me after taking a hard long look at me). Meanwhile, the projection that was put on by my friend didn’t register clearly, I saw him being fetched by two men looking like the Police from the Fierra.



Thankfully, my friend didn’t struggle physically unlike those others I saw. They tried to flee away, but awfully fail. Of course, you don’t want to be bothered by Police scenes like this, which most of us in the Walls, call ‘vagansya’, sounding like vagrancy or just plain Police-strike on the “innocent.” Among those chased after by the Police include five men looking like the Police themselves. I couldn’t discern the grit and madness of struggling it out against these men in uniform (who could easily be our targets, the other way around, in the Walls). I understand the Police are themselves caught cruising actively in other global places like in New York, or in London, where I got to read interesting new snatches of how they struggled it out against the discriminating legal system against all of us.



Meanwhile, I prayed and was thankful, I had the chance to cross from Mehan to the island on the other side, just minutes before the Police began indiscriminately frisking away those outlaws there at the Walls. On hindsight, I actually thought and “sniffed” the Police were coming.
I asked around where the Police could have possibly brought my friend. The men who looked like the Police kept an eye of suspicion at me. One by one, I saw some of those who were caught leaving the jail, sheepishly in gait, as if to ran away the pointed eyes of onlookers at the UN Avenue Police Station. One guy was cursing, “Putang ina, putang ina.” Another one has just stopped crying. I waited for four hours until 4 am when I finally saw my goodlooking friend at the United Nations Avenue Police Station. He was already very sleepy, and he then, thanked me for taking the trouble to wait for him.



“Uy, ang bait nya, hindi nya ako iniwan. Nandito pa sya,” as he teasingly remarked his grateful attitude for my wait for him to be finally out of jail.
“Yung isa, ang lakas ng loob. Nakitaan ng picture nya na nakapose sya ng hubo! Sa Saudi raw sya nagpakuha ng ganoon. Laking hiya tuloy nya. Ewan ko kung ano’ng mangyayari sa kanya,” my friend narrated to me. With that, I knew my friend and the others were physically inspected of their personal belongings, including contents of their wallets and pockets. Those caught were interrogated, and some men went out to pay grease money in fear that they would be undergoing more forms of harrassment.



It’s a Saturday then, so those caught couldn’t be charged as per procedures, I guess, so they had to wait, theoretically until Monday, a prospect usually unacceptable to anyone. My friend just talked it out, and paid something like over a hundred pesos. He was allowed to go after a particularly interesting Policeman took fancy. Nevertheless, he was never physically hurt. We eventually became good friends,



* * * * * * * *



Monday May 14,2001, Philippines
OTHER STORIES Augusto Villalon Spaced Out
Mehan Garden bites the dust
Fusing sight and insight in Lamarroza’s THE OVERWORKED theory landscapes about Filipino horror vacui is no cliché after all. The theory is about the Filipino fear of empty space graduates with honors in that explains our predilection for filling up every square centimeter of available space with something. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter what fills the space so long as it is not vacant. The space in question can be a living workshop and the room, a printed page, a cramped jeepney hood, an embroidered barong tagalog,


Mehan Garden bites the dust - Spaced decked out for a fiesta. Less Out has never been acceptable. More and much more is really what we’re talking about. The horror vacui bug has bitten Manila Mayor Lito Atienza. First, he proposed to transfer the City College works, botanical prints of Manila from the former PNB and Kasalikasan sculpture building on Escolta to Mehan Garden. Now he plans to put up the "Park and Ride" building, a public transportation waiting shed cum shopping area cum parking building. The project is expected to eat up the remaining open chunk of Mehan Garden that the City College will leave behind.
Say goodbye to one of Manila’s endangered open spaces. It is endangered no more. It is on its way to becoming history. But Mehan Garden has history. Originally established in 1858 as the Jardin Botanico,
Mehan Garden was the first
zoological and botanical garden in Manila. In 1913 the Tuesday
park was renamed Mehan Garden
after John C Mehan, the park superintendent. For those who have forgotten,
Mehan Garden is the open space off Plaza Lawton
(across the Manila Post Office), bounded by Taft Avenue, the Metropolitan
Theater and reaching close to the Manila City Hall. It is a great location for an inner city park.
Recent years have not been
kind to the place. Today Mehan Garden is down and
nearly out. Everyone has forgotten it, leaving it to
become a poor excuse for a
public open space. Nobody really goes there, but then why should anyone go since it is not a pleasant place to be in? Trees valiantly try to
grow in the polluted area. Unkempt grass struggles for
life amid a sea of cracked concrete. Plastic bags litter the area. There is absolutely
no human life in the area. It is desolate. The only sign of life in the area is at the Manila car pound, where
traffic-violating vehicles are towed and sometimes
abandoned. Haggling over fines is the prevailing human activity around there.
A colleague observed that "The Mehan Garden is the armpit of hell; half of it is a construction site for the City College of Manila, and
the other half is a graveyard for abandoned cars. Mehan
Garden looks like the Belgian
Congo after the Belgians fled."
Obviously Mehan Garden is not much of a place. It could become a place again with a good scrubbing, minimal refurbishment and some
maintenance work, a small effort to return a
much-needed park for Manileños to vent their pressures amid greens rather
than more concrete.
Architecturally significant
Mehan Garden is not an urban
desert. It is surrounded by
architecturally significant buildings. The acknowledged Sunday
centerpiece of the area is
the venerable Metropolitan Theater, a beleaguered 1930s masterpiece of decaying Philippine art deco
architecture. The Park and Ride building obstructs the
view of one of its more important facades.
The Office of the Ombudsman
(formerly MWSS Building) on
Arroceros Street is another
noteworthy prewar building in
the Mehan Garden area.
Closer to City Hall, the
abandoned GSIS building is
waiting for the proper
architectural reuse. The
Arroceros Forest Park around
the corner from Mehan Garden
is a precious green space
that, God forbid, should fall
prey to Atienza’s urban
horror vacui.
After publicly stating his
pro-conservation stand and
acknowledging that it is only
through preserving its
heritage spaces that Manila
can ever hope to regain its
prominence, Atienza toppled
the Jai-alai building, an
architectural icon, and is
now burying the green of
Mehan Garden under concrete.
His acts show a cavalier
attitude toward heritage
spaces and open areas in the
congested city.
If Manila is trying to win
back the glory that has gone
to Makati, building Park and
Ride and the City College in
Mehan Garden is not going to
do it.
With the Park and Ride and
City College, say goodbye as
well to one of Manila’s most
historic sites. Their
foundations will disturb what
is acknowledged to be
Manila’s richest
archaeological treasures. The
National Museum has declared
the area an archaeological
site, but budget constraints
have prevented its
large-scale excavation.
Mehan Garden, located at the
center of the area stretching
from Puerta Parian of
Intramuros to the Arroceros
Street banks of the Pasig, is
on the site of the old
Parian. The Parian is the
area where Spanish
authorities quartered the
Chinese in colonial days,
making sure that when they
were shut out of Intramuros
at night, they still remained
within cannon shot.
The foundations of the Parian
are surely still under the
Mehan Garden grounds. Not
only that, the many
unexcavated archaeological
artifacts buried beneath the
grounds may piece together
still-unknown chapters of the
history of Manila. Getting to
ultimately excavate for
archaeological artifacts
depends, of course, on
whether anyone thinks it is
important to have a better
knowledge of the history of
Manila.
Pride of place
Knowing more of his city’s
history might just fill the
desperate need for the
Manileño to feel pride of
place for his city. In cities
like Paris, the
archaeological excavations
that reveal centuries-old
foundations, ruins and
artifacts from the city’s
past have become museums
popular with residents and
tourists.
In contrast, we in Manila
build over a rich
archaeological site. There
goes history and pride of
place for Manila residents,
not to mention improving the
quality of urban life.
There is a growing concern
over the disappearance of
historical sites that vanish
in the name of progress.
Mehan Garden is one such
endangered site.
The City College should go
somewhere else. There are
many empty structures in
Manila that are waiting to be
reused. In fact, the college
is now in an Escolta building
that is ripe for preservation
and adaptation. The excuse
for moving the college out is
that the existing building is
structurally unsound, a
standard finding by engineers
not sensitive to adaptive
reuse.
Why not fix and reuse the
existing City College
building?
How about decongesting Plaza
Lawton? It has suffered too
much over the years. It was
sliced up by flyovers, then
lost its landmark Insular Ice
Plant to the LRT. Now a Park
and Ride Building will scar
it some more. The Park and
Ride is a needed facility for
Manila, but there are many
other locations where it
could fit without destroying
what little is left of a
Manila landmark and precious
open space.
Jai-alai buildings can
disappear and City Colleges
can take over open spaces
like Mehan Garden because of
the lack of a comprehensive
legal framework that protects
registered heritage sites and
cultural landscapes. The
Jai-alai issue proved that
without any legal framework,
there is no way to protect
our national patrimony.
The Heritage Conservation
Society of the Philippines is
leading a lobby for the
Senate and Congress to pass a
landmark law that will
preserve our built heritage
and cultural landscapes.
©2001 http://www.inq7.net/ all rights reserved

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My "GoodReads" reviews

The Garden of Two Dragons Fucking The Garden of Two Dragons Fucking by Jerusalino V. Araos

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
remarkably illustrated, concise, and irreverent (not a porno book, whatsoever)!!! an old friend lent me a copy years ago, and have found it very fascinating. of course, part of the excitement of reading this book is it's "curious" title. it's actually a children's book, (would you believe?), by araos, a respected artist in the philippines. the title may be offensive to most adults who have concerns about "fucking," but i'd believe parents would become more authentic as "persons" (who get hurt, need to be loved, need to love as well, etc.) to their children, if they get to have them read this book. you may not need to explain the title, as there's really no need for it. its being "irreverent" is mainly because of the use of the word 'fucking' & nothing else. it's all about discovering your being you as a person, pursuing your dreams, and not that one person others may have in mind when they see you. i could not get hard copies of this book myself, so i kept a xeroxed copy of it in my library back in the philippines.

View all my reviews.