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Check the drafts of a memoir (available in leading online stores) in long blog posting-format that account on how I coped with youthful urges with having no positive role models and growing up under restrictive social conditions, in Manila, Philippines, circa 1980s way much until after I moved to NYC. Drafts of my other book projects are here, too. God be praised!

2. The Cruisin' Domain

The book is now available, in hardcover,  paperback & ebook formats from my online storeAmazon.com,Barnes and Noble,Xlibris.comPowell's Books, and other online stores. 




courtesy of Facebook's OLD MANILAcourtesy of Facebook's OLD MANILA

"Victoria Kapauan-Gaerlan photos"

“But walls do not make for good neighbors, for whom we wall in, we also wall out. We therefore create a dialectical even, even an antagonistic relation between those inside and those outside. And that is exactly what happened, the Spaniards created more enemies. In the 16th and 17th centuries that were the indigenous Philippine population Spain sought to sublime, and the Dutch who courted Spain and Portugal’s monopoly of trade in the Far East; in the 18th the British; and in the 19th other European powers, and throughout all the centuries of colonial rule, the Islamic communities of the South.”
Rene B. Javellana

(Hmmmmm……In describing the Walls, I am generally reminded of the wafting light, pure smoke from that hot thick chocolate freshly served in most breakfast mornings in Southern Luzon provinces. These wafts of smoke generate dreamy yet snatches of gray-dominated blue hues of landscapes at the recesses of my mind where I presumed the images of those people I encountered have forever been etched , deposited in memory, and ready to be recalled in garish, incomplete sketches)

The cruising area actually runs the whole walking areas of Lawton, the Main Post Office Building, the Mehan Garden (now developed as a quite fitting garden by FVR’s unusually common yet always politically correct wife, Ming Ramos, has since then continued, by the current Administration) as well the dank, filthy, feces-filled Quiapo Bridge. The area likewise includes the area beside the former Finance Building, which has now been converted as part of the National Museum Complex. At times, as the need calls for it, just like those nights when I made it with some physically interesting individuals, this extends up to the other side of the foot of Jones Bridge beside Feati University. In fact, the peripheral area of the Luneta forms part of the whole open cruising area in Manila. What principally separates the area is the presence of pimps and hookers who cover the Luneta belt. In the Chocolate Hills, you may actually laugh aloud at someone who will try to solicit for money for casual sex. Practically, it’s a “free for all” as they say.

Of course, there have been other cruising fields nationwide. For the more familiar samplers, these fields cover where I have encountered people actively on the look-out for prospects. These places are found in metropolitan areas where most people would consider others who are milling in the area to be people who wander in and out in guise of pursuing their personal businesses seemingly on the surface: the Ugarte Field in Makati, the CCP reclamation area going towards Baclaran, the Forbes-Espana portion just outside the walls of the UST (Southeast Asia’s oldest university), the Quezon Memorial Circle, Burnham Park in Baguio City, Puerto Galera’s silvery yet more white than gray-colored beaches in northern Mindoro, the fringes of Boracay’s mile-long White Beach as well as the Plaza and nearby areas along the Osmena Circle, and the Cebu City Cathedral. Notably, these spaces provide expansive views that may not be literally but at least figuratively, for pleasure, or mere companion seekers, at least furtively even for a few hours of solace from dissonant voices heard from all others who are apparently non-accepting of this lifestyle we lead.

These days, most malls nationwide serve as cruising arenas, to include as well most theatres, particularly those inside the malls. There has to be something common among these places. I have actually read how the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism come up with the prostitution among the unguided, lost youth being preyed on by flesh-eating moneyed, disturbed folks who seek them out all these time practically in all malls. The scene is rather, familiar, as the literary sophisticate gets to read a familiar account in one of the books of Jean Genet. Yet, a distinguished place is seemingly given, reserved to a certain extent to the cruising area in Manila. We just distinguish it somehow, as Manila has remained to be culturally engaging location that's found in a highly urbanized metropolis. Some senior cruisers have remarked that prior to seeing those earlier cited areas burgeoned to becoming principal cruising fields themselves, the Walls along the Chocolate Hills have been there way, way much ahead.

Practically, generations of cruisers have paraded and sashayed along this field one way or another - cruisers who have remained silent to others on the Walls’ known notoriety, but not exactly dubious existence. This cruising scene takes place even now, yet admittedly, the quality has diminished to a great degree. Why, perhaps, and can we ever get to know what happened then?

Yet, these areas expand to what used to be conveniently known as the Chocolate Hills. They, who have come and gone a lot, lot earlier fondly, referred to this cruising area as such. The whole cruising scene at the Intramuros walls remains to be an interesting study, even todate - inspite of the developments lately, and despite the absence of past cruising evenings when I saw swarms of cruisers, just like myself.

To start, I like to propose that Intramuros actually remains to be a special place in Manila. Both administratively due to the government as well as due to legendary notions we loftily have about things of old. Among the Philippines’ National Artists, esteemed writer Nick Joaquin, by way of his books and other writings, have continued raving on its preeminence as a cultural spot in Manila. One can get around the walls in three hours of leisurely walk with full attention to what can be sensed along the way. Or one may opt to just cover the Walls by walking on top of its remaining and restored portions.

This cultural section is actually one of the remaining areas in Manila where there is still the presence of much open space needed in doing reflections, whenever one’s life have gone awry or another. Suddenly, one gets to ask why the whole of Manila has gone so polluted, densely populated, maddeningly violent, and yet, we have recently begun appreciating and correcting the value of managing the rate of development in this side of the Philippines. All these different experiences take place in this tract of the old Manila while meditating on the scenes below and beyond the peripherals of the Walls.

Being cumulatively developed as a physical place of our heritage and cultural past for over three hundred years, we have been drawn one way or another to these walls. The Intramuros Walls actually stand on the same site of Rajah Soliman’s old palisaded fort. Pondering on the indicated dates of red bricks on the Walls, some of which are dated from 1987, or at times mistakenly looking like 1897, I have attempted to continue collecting my thoughts. Somehow, I like to believe that the Intramuros Administration (the official government office tasked to oversee the general maintenance and development of the specially designated district) has done its job well inspite of the usual lack of funds and the apparent absence of general interest in things cultural by the typical fellow just beside you in a jeepney ride.

Still, some may have found Intramuros to be unappealing, particularly those with ideas of a designated tourist spot where people actually live is typically Disneyland. The younger generation may find it boring and uninteresting. This may be largely due to poor marketing approaches in coming up with the proper advertising and promotions to make Intramuros brightly and vibrantly appealing to the majority market sector. The design and implementation of programs to highlight the strengths of Intramuros, call for a leadership style with flair, even in a symbolic manner.

Other than those well-preserved commercial-cum-residential heritage locations mostly in Luzon like Vigan (in Ilocos Sur), and Taal (in Batangas), Intramuros remains a central vestige of the Philippines’ Hispanic heritage, being located in the country’s capital city. So as to put a stop to the slow degeneration of the Walls due to inability to sustain the interests of the majority of our youth, we need a different framework in our approaches in updating Intramuros.

Some cheeky suggestions to boot, that I hope can be put in place, by the community at large, in one variant or another, come into mind. More than just making the Walls a periodic topic in travelogues, we need to make it more relevant to the majority. Though this may call for more political decisiveness, we can make the sector more liveable and vibrant by targetting the young from 18 to 40 years old, those with the gung-ho attitidue in life, into developing their affordable homes in the historic vicinity (if this may not be considered sacrilegious enough by most purists). Schools and universities are within the Walls are okay, as they make Intramuros look uptodate and populous at least in the morning, but we normally look for other places of interests in spots like Intramuros. We look forward to seeing more activity laden spots inside Intramuros, more than beyond museums, libraries, small parks, and food booths. A tram service can be ideally put in place, at least one electrically run system that will pass by all major encircling paths with designated stops in (or outside, as the case maybe) the Walls. A palengke, on a smaller scale, say two blocks though as it may lead to dirt collection related problems, may yet turn Intramuros to be more livelier and economically active. Or we can select and put in place the state-of-the-art facilities and infrastructure to have Intramuros become the hub of internet service providers, where cybercafes may also proliferate at rates affordable to the studentry.

We can help evolve Intramuros into a more unique heritage location that will be a major benchmark that has been well preserved, and notably well restored among the rest of Hispanic cities in the world. But as we proceed with this, we get the feel that everything in Intramuros is dated, even the very act of thinking of refurbishing the image of Intramuros.

But there are those who have found Intramuros to be a place beyond their wildest night dreams. My share of these stories continue, but we need to put the Walls first in their more proper perspective in a kaleidoscopic, whirlwind approach in the next few chapters of this writing endeavor.

You get to discover many interesting facts about Intramuros, if you decide to cruise there yourself. Also, there are the surviving churches namely San Agustin Church and the Manila Cathedral – structures which have stood despite the Great War, fires and earthquakes. The former being the only edifice among twelve churches in the pre war Intramuros to have remained relatively unscathed by the massive bombing of Manila during the Great War. It actually forms part of the list of cultural heritage structures, which the United Nations has lately been developing and preserving, especially the San Agustin Church that repainted itself in its claimed-original cream, colored hues, very similar to the hues found in century-old churches in Southern Iloilo. We note as well that the tomb of one of the colonizing founders of Manila, has been laid in crypt inside the San Agustin Church.

While the relatively newer Manila Cathedral, with its great cupola, being a reconstructed concrete Gothic inspired structure based on the surviving pre-war plans, has actually evolved from the blueprints of earlier versions. The Cathedral has undergone a number of reconstruction and restorations in the past due also to quite a number of fires, earthquakes and human whims. It seems to signal that life indeed in Manila is jutted with one or more of those natural calamities that strike people out of their deadening, slow paced, insecure lives in the Capital. For starters, they might have wanted to find time in pondering on its modern and quaint series of glass stained windows depicting varied religious events and personalities.

There are still the ruins near the Arzobispo St of the former San Ignacio Church whose Doric design can still be figured out. Also, several appealing monuments can be found littered in the vicinity of the Walls. These have been mainly done in the classical mode. Some have stood for a time; some have been more recent for the memory of those souls who have gone before us. Among which include the classically rendered Legazpi and Urdaneta Monument on the corner of Burgos St and Bonifacio Drive with the one side of the Manila Hotel fronting it. Recently, Ninoy Aquino’s statue has started standing there. Also, the Isabel II monument, the stamp of which says it has been transferred from one site to another, after it had languished for long period of time in a warehouse somewhere during the Spanish period. Of more recent vintage is the very classical monument of the esteemed painter Juan Luna very near the Puerta Real. Yes, the Fort Santiago which contains the Rizal Shrine, with the ever changing skyline of Binondo across the Pasig River as one looks over at the horizon, remains interesting enough, inspite of some questionable markers, plus the dubious efforts to mine supposedly buried treasure in the site. PETA’s plays are also still being performed in a uniquely designed open theatre inside the Fort. Some of these stageplays on alternative relationships and lifestyles have interestingly provided a deeper context of what takes in the wider expanse of the Intramuros. If only those who have watched these plays have known, they would have appreciated all those scenes in a more, spirited manner. To move forward along the remaining Walls of the Intramuros, we find some aberrations to cater to certain needs of the business sector. To account for this in particular, the golf course has sprouted and has been recently improved to cater to particular well paying sector.

There are also the other structures that have sprouted recently in the grand Castillian design of architecture, without any note from any particular period. The more notable among these are the reconstructed Palacio del Gobernador, the Casa Manila Museum, and the San Luis Complex. These buildings are actually being lived in and used by a variety of hosts and organizations. They include office workers, restaurants, trading houses, government offices, colleges, museums, manning offices, shipping lines, publishing houses, and, of course, as residential houses. Of course, the squatters are still there (although their numbers have diminished somewhat or they must have been better organized lately). Yet, nothing beats the Walls that cover the peripherals of Intramuros itself. I have yet to overcome this sense of intrigue whenever I recall memories that took place in these Walls (as well as nearly outside its peripherals).

The Walls fronting the Manila Hotel have been restored in the mid 80’s. We now see remnants of the very old Bastion de San Diego. Curiously, this site never fails to put forward all kinds of interesting imaginations as I gaze before circular formations of granites and slabs of stone that used to be fortifications against the dreaded enemies of the Spaniards then. Even the top couple among the royalty of Spain, that used to colonize the Philippines for nearly four hundred years, took time out to visit this set of ruins. I’ve felt odd looking at their published photos as they gawked on the circular concrete remains of structures where the Spanish military before used to keep materials for use against attacks and monumental events. The installed marker says the circular formations also used to serve as warehouses for canonpowder, and other armaments, and the whole place itself is one of the oldest sections of the Intramuros Walls. From time to time, golfballs get to accidentally drop from their intended trajectories and coming down to earth instead on top of these Walls where there are sections ready to catch these balls which people living in the area collect for resale later at very cheap prices.

A walking tour which I may usually start from atop any of the nearby gates always leads my feet in routing towards an impressive view of the golf course, and the structures enclosed by the Walls, including ruins of Fr Blanco’s Garden, the unmarked government warehouse where COMELEC garbage ballot boxes are stocked, among others. On certain days, particularly on weekends, men gather to engage in fishing using a hook or a rod for the catch swimming in one of the manmade ponds in the golf course. One never get to ignore the presence of a giant machine gun, which we hope is no longer functional, installed along a yawning gap of the section of the Wall fronting Burgos St. leading towards the Manila Hotel on the perpendicular side. This huge machine gun, a very rare WW II relic that is ominously pointed towards the direction of the Luneta, has survived the Great War, and I guess, it will serve as a reminder to those in the present generation, until another War comes again for more irreparable devastation.

I once had the chance to take a stroll inside the small separate fort of San Pedro, one rainy morning. I recall having seen inside the enclosed Walls some huge bottled containers with unmistakable long human bones inside, crudely exhibited to make a statement about the destruction of the Walls. Just like one of the smaller forts (now still closed) inside Fort Santiago, these bones were collected from the diggings made in the area. I remember having read somewhere that the place was one of the bloody sites of the Siege of Manila in the last moments of WWII. I just wonder why this small Fort has remained closed todate. Also, the authorities have now removed some of the “professional” squatters who used to occupy this side of the Walls. Their former presence gives a different flavor of backdrop that are familiarly felt and seen in some Lino Brocka films showing contrasts of poor squatters’ areas set against solid, high Walls from another milleau.

Among other experiences, I’ve seen some vagabond breed of fellows catching low flying quail birds in the area where some small trees are now struggling to grow. Perhaps, the catch would serve as the day’s meal. As usual, heady events take place in the whole length of this Section, mainly in the evening, even with all the security guards roaming around. From one of the jutting outposts atop the Walls fronting the Manila Hotel, which we usually see in most advertisements on the Intramuros Walls, I saw some emerging bodies. One by one, the three fellows walked passed by me. We gave each other due recognition. All three had the look of having just made it, I felt envious, I thought I needed to proceed myself.

I also remember having been to the old Manila Aquarium in Puerta Real when I was still in grade school. I recall having been given the tour, together with my classmates, inside the Walls one very late afternoon. After our class had just been finished touring some other spots in Manila (including that Martial-Law Era cultural exhibit put in place at the Central Post Office in Lawton on the excavated life-size army of sculptures to guard the tomb of a very important ancient Chinese Emperor). As far as I could recall from some extant memory pieces, the Aquarium was pretty unique. I remember, the Aquarium had had many big size fish glass tanks where we could gaze innocently at those interesting and pretty colored fishes. I was pretty much in a daze while looking at those fishes in the Aquarium, underneath the mossy and dark colored concrete ceiling from wall to wall. We emerged from the Walls already in the very early evening. My teacher must have thought of sharing us the experience of seeing the district as she must have thought that it looks better in the evening as its brightly lighted. But then, I remember our bus going through some dark and deserted side streets in Intramuros as our bus proceeded to the Fort Santiago. Even then, my main recollection of Intramuros has been that of “covering darkness that envelops ourselves.” In any case, I never heard of that old Manila Aquarium for a long time again in the papers until only lately in 1998 when it was reopened again by another enterprising group.

During one of my visits to the Geronimo Berenguer De Los Reyes Museum inside the Gateway Business Park in General Trias, Cavite, I chanced upon old photos of Intramuros. I just couldn’t fathom the process as to how this whole area, I call the Walls, have turned into a cruising ground. Perhaps, there has simply been the need to come up with a place where many men in a particular need may get to encounter some others who can provide for the absolution of their urgent need, even for quite a short passing few minutes, come rain or shine. The photos shown in the Museum looked like they were very comfortable and languid, though, the houses are definitely looking rather stylized European set of architecture in a warm, Southeast Asian country. Even the interior of the houses looked European, coyly copying anything from that Continent which people then thought to be superior than what the locals had then outside Intramuros and, practically the whole country. Everything about the photos showed people who lived in a slow and relaxed pace, except perhaps those in Chinatown, across the Pasig River, where even then quite a number of shops were already recognizable. From the faces of the those people pictured and posing gamely in the photos, I could feel the kind of laidback lifestyle that the people then pursued almost daily, until all the Wars that took place permanently vanished any vestige of this lifestyle nowadays.

People living in the Walls seemingly had that strong sense of seclusion inside the Walls. Moats protected the Walls from intrusions from all its side, except perhaps the area near the Intendencia. I was pretty curious about this old photo showing the Ateneo de Manila’s bridge structure connecting two buildings across streets, looking so Venetian without the murky water that flows underneath. All the other photos showing Intramuros, reveal fascinating intricate and intrusive details. It seemed to me that even during those times, people went on cruising the Walls to get into the other aspects of their lives. The Walls had the feel of an aged elevated promenading area, with tall, old trees, excepting those portions in the Walls where the military had lodged themselves to cast out the ordinary mortals. Would these people had they lived their lives now, allow all these ongoing heady events taking place in the Walls? Practically all these went up the smoke and massive artillery bombings particularly during the time when General McArthur’s forces were retrieving Manila from the crazy-stricken Japanese.

- “The move by certain sectors to cheapen the Intramuros Wall should be met with angry protests by us, the ROTC cadets of the Adamson University in December 1941. We consider the Intramuros Wall hallowed ground. On dec. 8, 1941, the day after Pearl Harbor was bombed, we had our baptism of fire there.

At 9 a.m. , a Japanese Zero (as the enemy plane was called) strafed the machine gun emplacement on top of the Intramuros Wall beside the Adamson University. The two cadets operating the machine gun were protected only by a small steel plate. They bravely returned fire.

Inside the university, cadet officers armed with automatic rifles lay prone and looked up to the open skylight of the atrium, waiting for the Japanese Zero in case it would come back to strafe again.

When a Filipino looks at the Intramuros Wall, he should observe a moment of silence for the Adamson University cadets who were among the first to fight so that Filipinos might live in freedom.” -
Isagani G. Bautista Sr
(Letters of the Editor, Philipine Daily Inquirer August 29, 2000)

It dawned on me that even during the Spanish Period, the Walls of Intramuros already looked aged. It’s as if they’re standing there for quite a long while. It’s as if these Walls have been standing all there along even before the other structures have been put in place. There was one photo which shows the remains of concrete structure after a major earthquake, and it seems only the Walls had endured the earthshaking intensity that shook down to their foundations the other structures. This is the same look, same feel even these days for the ruins, which I have discovered during my motions of my concerns. Looking as ancient as they were even in those old photos, these Walls must have undergone so much, more than the kind of exposure that they have day in and day out all these hundreds of years.

Creative Commons License
Angels in Disguise (Leavings & Goings at the Chocolate Hills) by Jerome Baladad is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at dyerohmebmovingon.wordpress.com.

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The Garden of Two Dragons Fucking The Garden of Two Dragons Fucking by Jerusalino V. Araos

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rating: 5 of 5 stars
remarkably illustrated, concise, and irreverent (not a porno book, whatsoever)!!! an old friend lent me a copy years ago, and have found it very fascinating. of course, part of the excitement of reading this book is it's "curious" title. it's actually a children's book, (would you believe?), by araos, a respected artist in the philippines. the title may be offensive to most adults who have concerns about "fucking," but i'd believe parents would become more authentic as "persons" (who get hurt, need to be loved, need to love as well, etc.) to their children, if they get to have them read this book. you may not need to explain the title, as there's really no need for it. its being "irreverent" is mainly because of the use of the word 'fucking' & nothing else. it's all about discovering your being you as a person, pursuing your dreams, and not that one person others may have in mind when they see you. i could not get hard copies of this book myself, so i kept a xeroxed copy of it in my library back in the philippines.

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